Part 5 of 6: Embodying the Parent You Want to Be - Curiosity Opens The Door to Aligned Choices
A 6 part series for queer parents (and prospective parents) who love their kids so fiercely, they refuse to settle for a family where there are conditions on love, support, and belonging.
So far, we’ve explored why some decisions and challenges feel impossible—hidden tensions, emotional resistance, and unquestioned assumptions that quietly shape your choices.
But here’s the thing: awareness alone doesn’t create change.
💡 Take a moment now to reconnect with the challenge or decision you’ve been reflecting on throughout this series.
Even if you’ve uncovered the deeper values behind your choice—or spotted some of the patterns pulling you off track—it’s still normal to feel stuck.
That’s because creating alignment isn’t just about what you know—it’s about learning how to shift your perspective, build new patterns, and follow through when things feel hard.
So now, it’s time to ask:
💡 What are some other possible ways to think about this?
🔹 IMPORTANT: This is NOT toxic positivity. NOT immediate reassurance. And NOT denying your reality or the systems that shape it.
Reframing isn’t about forcing yourself to think positively—it’s about CURIOSITY. It’s about creating space to explore alternative perspectives while allowing room for your emotions to exist. Avoidance strengthens resistance. Sitting with discomfort creates space for more intentional action.
In the Alignment Practice™ Framework, we use a tool called EXPAND to do this. I teach the details in The Lab, but for now, here’s what you need to know:
EXPANDING your perspective is about:
✔ Right-sizing fears & assumptions that feel absolute
✔ Seeing your challenge from new angles—without dismissing what’s real for you
And the truth is, you’ve already started doing this. If you look back over the last few posts, we’ve already been EXPANDING in small but powerful ways:
✨ What if “good parenting” isn’t about proving something—but about creating something?
✨ What if the things that feel unnatural aren’t wrong—but just unfamiliar?
✨ How real is the risk of my worst fears? What’s the actual likelihood of it happening?
But here’s what’s most important:
🔹 EXPANDING is NOT about convincing.
Some of the most life-changing shifts don’t come from flipping a belief upside-down — they come from seeing a totally different way of looking at something.
💡 What if I don’t need to convince myself that I am enough—but that “enoughness” is not even required for love, belonging, or doing fulfilling work?
This is the work we do inside The Lab. We aren’t replacing negative thoughts with positive ones—it’s about uncovering the deeper truths that seamlessly change how you feel about yourself, your choices, and your relationships.
OK! So, that’s the big picture of Part 1 of the Alignment Practice Framework—The Clarity Roadmap.
Next up (last up!), we’ll talk about how to make all of this automatic, using the PAVE framework—so you can anchor your insights and turn them into lasting change you can trust when things feel hard.
P.S. It’s hard to see new possibilities when you’re stuck inside your own perspective. That’s why community is essential.
Inside The Lab, you won’t just learn the EXPAND process—you’ll have people who can help you see the options, insights, and solutions you can’t see on your own.
Because sometimes the path forward isn’t hidden—it’s just impossible to see from where you’re standing.
✨🌈TL;DR:
Gaining clarity on your values and identifying what’s been pulling you off track is a powerful start—but it doesn’t automatically close the gap between the parent you want to be and the parent you’re showing up as. The next step is to EXPAND your perspective. EXPANDING invites curiosity, helping you challenge assumptions, explore alternative approaches, and uncover new ways to align your actions with what matters most. It’s not about forcing positivity, ignoring hard emotions, or convincing yourself things are fine—it’s about seeing new possibilities without denying what’s real.